Return

Welcome to my humble sanctuary. I, the Keeper of this small corner of Internet, welcome you to stay and look around.


It has not been a long time since I changed this part of my site. I also think it will not take too long until this version of the About Me section gets replaced by a new one. This is the way of life. Existence changes all the time.


"There is no existence without change, the biggest change being the one from death to life, from life to death."


Which brings us to the first part of my introduction: Birth. Not much is known about my origin, except that the first atoms of my shell grew together in my mother's womb, then left that body and started an existence of their own, namely me. From that time on I had a life at my disposal, which I still have, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here, writing this.


"The greatest difference between that which exists and that which does not is the finity of existence, the infinity of nothingness."


Abiding by that law is also my existence, which, slowly but unstoppably, closes in on its final moment with every second of my life. I was born, I grew, but so did the sicknesses in my mind of which the origins are known to me, but nobody else.


"That which does not behave in a way known or understandable to man will always be feared, and that which is feared will always be shunned, for humanity was born to fear and fear was born to keep alive."


Social deviation is just as normal as normality, but even deviation has borders. I crossed those borders. Far too often did I cross them. So, I became an outsider. An outcast. Society's reject.

From early age on I was expelled from the normals' socialization, so I erased that part of my personality and replaced it with the strife for perfection. Now, I am superior to normals.
I had never shed a tear for the happiness lost by becoming a loner.


Until, Enlightenment came.


In form of a Document from one of My Own Kind, finally a human being who was also cast out, shunned, hated for being broken on the inside. How a random computer file found its way to me? Fate, one might say. Others could think it was coincidence. But surely it wasn't the hand of God, as that being doesn't exist. At least not for me.

What I did after the Enlightenment? That story might be too long to tell, too personal to share, too unimportant to pass it on. What matters is change. Existence changes all the time.

Once a hedonist driven by the wishes for appreciation, perfection and only the most basic instincts, I became one of My True People.




Most people probably know them as the Gothic subculture. It's the everdark children of the night I belong to, and whose aesthetic values I seek and admire.

"Normal" people's opinions about Gothic culture are quite diverse - most of them don't really understand, many tolerate it, some turn their backs on Goths and a few feel hate and repulsion at their sight. Unfortunately there's also some rather unintelligent people who spread propaganda of them being satanists, only because of their black clothes and the often-encountered pagan symbols worn by them as rings or amulets. Also, there's theories about Goths being responsible for all the school shootings all over the world.

Well, the ignorance of the unknowing must be forgiven.

In truth, the Gothic movement is a group of equal-minded, beauty-loving, sometimes a bit too depressed people who share a common love for all things black. Of course there's more to being a Goth, but there's thick books just dealing with the other aspects, as well as about the Gothic way of life itself. And even though all of these endless studies and categorizations might be correct, all I can say is: